You Know Those Mothers Who Swear By The Dr. Ferber Book?
I’m not one of them…..
I’m sure that the Ferber book was a godsend to so many. For me it was another lesson in failure. Sometimes the rules just don’t apply, but you can’t know that as a new mother. So many days were spent blurry eyed and feeling hungover, but without the fun the night before. I would tell myself, “If I can just make it until noon I’ll be ok.”
My son never slept. His inner clock was flukey. An old friend reached out on Facebook recently and said that the one thing she remembers about me is that I never slept and I was beyond desperate.
In those days, sleep deprived, I would look around my house and take in the various piles of chaos, but be immobilized to do anything about them……and let’s face it……those piles just grow until you have company and you jam them into closets or under beds…….
Then you forget about them and other piles grow……
And if you have a dog who sheds…….let’s just say there were often giant hair balls like tumbleweeds blowing through the air……and all I could do was numbly stare at them.
Because my hours were flexible, I was the one who always got up; my husband would go off to work and I would often feel like the world was passing me by. I had nothing to show for myself but a messy house and bags under my eyes.
If I had known better and if I had someone to put their arm around me and say, “Wow! You are doing an amazing job…..who knows why nothing works? The point is you are going to be OK and that baby is so lucky that you are his mother!”
I think my level of despair might have been lifted because what I needed was a cheering section……
Maybe that’s what we ALL need. A CHEERING SECTION!
Instead of advice or books……..just a “Hey! You are doing a terrific job!”
I’m still not sure why my son never slept…..he still has a bit of that now…..but somehow it serves him…..
The difference now is that while he is up I am down. 🙂