COULROPHOBIA
We are celebrating *****’s 5th birthday! And they have hired a CLOWN! 
CRAP! Maybe we can go, but leave for the clown part?
I first discovered my son’s fear of clowns when I delightedly accepted an invitation to the circus. It was going to be a special day filled with elephants, horses, tight rope walking…….you get the picture. Yep, a sensory f @#king explosion! Just add clowns….. TA DA! This made for a completely overloaded, totally panicked 4 year old! How did it NOT occur to me that a CIRCUS would NOT be a big hit with a kid who has heightened senses?!!!!
We spent the day waiting in the car……I have to admit, it was better for me too. Afterwards…..excuses…..apologies…..
Coulrophobia is fear of clowns. I once saw a woman in the grocery store who had a t-shirt that said, “I hate clowns.” Note to self…..l still want that t-shirt. There is a scene in the Simpson’s where a good natured Homer builds a bed for Bart with a clown headboard. This gives Bart terrible anxiety and triggers insomnia…. Bart repeats over and over, “Can’t sleep, clown will eat me.”
Clowns were not the only enemy. ANY big costumed thing was cause for a U-turn or detour! Disney was totally out of the question! (Can’t say I was too upset about that) I know someone in my brood asked if we could leave town for Halloween, not knowing that Halloween was EVERYWHERE…..not just in our little town. We spent the night upstairs while my husband answered the door. (Can’t say I was too upset about that, either.)
I recently participated in a really tough race. It was brutal. At the finish line there was loud music, beer and a pig on a spit. Everyone was celebrating, high fiving and taking pictures. Sounds fun, right? I was freaking out. I completely shut down. I was covered in mud. The smell of the pork and beer in the air…….the utter chaos shot me into total anxiety. I found a cool dark spot that was away from the crowd and I thought, “Wow, this is how it feels to have SPD. This totally sucks.” If a clown had shown up then, it would have been the end of me.
That, or the world might continue on with one less clown.
I
Well, clearly, I’m going to have to offer my skills to you two to help open your own T-shirt store. For the kids, maybe we can offer a pair of earmuffs with built-in blinders. We’ll take the first two, because you know there has to be an extra one in the car at all times . . . . The adult size will come with airline-bottles of vodka. I think I’m onto something! BRB…..
OMG! Other Martha! You are flippin’ hilarious! You are totally onto something…..I am going to search for the “I hate clowns” t-shirt…….you get the vodka…..
I am so glad you invited me to check out your blog (via twitter). My son is special needs and we have some of these very issues! Following your wonderful blog now!!! 😀 And sharing!
Thank you!!! I’ve been reading your blog, too. (My cousin has lived in Juneau for 35 years, and I’ve been there, so the title had caught my eye.) I hope you find lots to comment on in our blog, and that you check out our “Sh*t Moms of Kids with ‘Issues’ Say” video, too, for a laugh …. And thanks so much for sharing!!!!