BOY + SLUSHY + COOKIE = MAYHEM
DUH!
Back in the olden days when I had an answering machine and no cell phone yet (thank God) my machine would sound like this…….
“YOU HAVE FIVE NEW MESSAGES. TO LISTEN TO YOUR MESSAGES PRESS ONE.”
The top of the machine looked like this.
CALLER I.D.
@ ! % & Township
@ ! % & Township
@ ! % & Township
@ ! % & Township
Guess who!
My reaction…….
Muster courage…call husband…call Ruth…call school…apologize…reassure….apologize again…question myself as a mother….question life in general….call back husband…call back Ruth….
It seemed that every time the phone rang during school hours I would get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, feeling completely at the mercy of whomever was calling to gripe about ummmm certain undesirable behaviors…..and I couldn’t argue!
I felt out of control and so did the school!
But……I also had to question certain situations that seemed to lend themselves like a bad chemical reaction to disaster.
For example, I received a phone call from a middle school vice principal whose knickers were in a twist because apparently “someone” created quite a stir in the school cafeteria……
As it turned out “someone” took their SLUSHY and put it under the COOKIE LIGHT and the light EXPLODED!
HMMMMMMM, what’s wrong with this picture? Well, you might ask, “what is a cookie light?” Good question! It is a big warm light that heats up over-sized chocolate chip cookies and makes them melty, soft and chewy.
The COLD emanating from the SUGAR-infused SLUSHY caused the cookie light to EXPLODE!
My question was this.
“WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THE SUGAR IN A MIDDLE SCHOOL CAFETERIA??????”
And P.S.
Isn’t the explosion sort of a sciencey kind of thing? Thankfully, nobody was hurt and lots of detention was involved.
The vice principal was adamant about me replacing the cookie light.
…….I never did 🙂
CHEERS!
well done, Martha! I’m glad you didn’t pay. I have such ambivalence about school officials — I know its hard for them (its hard for us too!) but I hate the way they always make you feel that they have never experienced anything like this behavior.
Hi Helen….the thing is so much of the behavior is truly laughable. I have to admit that I have found some of the “antics” hilarious and then I do feel badly for the poor teacher just trying to make it through the day…..
Completely agree, though I have found that the school generally does not share the joke!
Do you think those teachers feel sorry for us, the parents? I’ve always wondered.
I do think that SOME teachers feel sorry for us and some…….not so much. It’s hard to be empathetic if you think your kids are doing everything right because YOU are doing everything right.
As both a teacher (who had many kids with issues in class) and a parent of kids with issues, I can say that I definitely felt a huge amount of empathy for the moms of the kids in my class who were struggling … but I would also experience a “school reaction” if parents didn’t want to meet us halfway, and only wanted to blame the school. Some parents didn’t acknowledge that their kids did have issues, and that made it all that much harder to work with them to help the kids. In terms of behavioral issues (like the kid who is oppositional and/or just keeps getting in trouble) — if the school doesn’t realize that this is a result of OTHER things, and the kid keeps ending up in the disciplinarian’s office …. well, that is a recipe for trouble for everyone – the kid, the parents, and the school. Everyone has to find ways to communicate that don’t set off someone else’s defense system.
HA HA HA HA!! Stopped by from the SITS Sharefest and am cracking up! Seems to me that he was just learning about reactions, so really they should probably have called it extra credit! ;)-Ashley
Absolutely! And we’re so happy to have you stop by — hope you check out the rest of the blog, too, and pass it along to anyone who is in our “issues”, too! By the way, which is your post on the Sharefest? I’ll make sure to check it out. And we’ll follow you on Twitter, etc., too! 🙂
That’s exactly what I thought!
How to communicate without setting off someone’s defenses is a huge issue? Where can I sign up for a training? This issue extends to all of us, not just parents with kids with issues. Ruth mentions a “school reaction” and unfortunately some school staff are on autopilot with that type of reaction perhaps because their defenses are up from several bad experiences with other parents even before that parent opens their mouth. I also know that in our affluent area certain childish parents like to throw their financial worth and connections around to intimidate the school thus ruining things for all parents and making it less about any child’s needs.
Personally, I have come across great teachers who are caring and willing to help in any way they can. There have been more of these types, I’m happy to say. I have heard many negative parent stories but I feel that in 13 years of navigating the special needs and regular school systems, most of our experiences have been positive.
Yet, there have been those along the way who have been rude, out of line, and even crossed the line of their professional limitations perhaps out of sheer ignorance. They do it at a critical point when a parent is emotionally spent and truly seeking help. It feels like exploitation and its human nature for parents also to have what I guess you could call a “parent reaction”.
Solutions?
You’re so right that this (communicating without raising defenses) is not just a parent/teacher/school issue! But because it is such a personal issue, about our child (if you’re the parent) or about our professionalism and caring and wanting to help the child (if you’re a teacher), it hits such a vulnerable place. Look for a future post on “How to Write an Email to Your Child’s Teacher” …. in our own special “Walk A Mile In My Issues”, Martha and Ruth kind of way! 🙂
I think it’s simple. While frustrating I believe that some behaviors go under “The Dumb Kid Behavior” heading…..it happens. Everyone parent, teachers and kids alike want to treated with respect and understanding. We’re all human and we all have troubles.
If a parent is freaking out and pulling the “Do you know who I AM??????” It’s because they are frightened.
(and obnoxious)
I’ve had both amazing and disastrous experiences with teachers and school faculty.
The two things that have worked for me are humor and respect…