Targasm gone awry
It was one of those days when everything in Target was calling my name. I have a penchant for brightly colored notebooks, fun pens, organizers with lots of compartments and, this time, super cool white boards with fluorescent markers. It all makes me feel so hopeful. As if with my army of supplies I will manage to follow through on the multiple projects I imagine myself finishing. As if an organizer in a creamy teal color will bolster my creativity by organizing my thousands of Sharpies. Mostly, I am exhausted by the time I have unwrapped everything and organized all my other supplies and I never really make it to the project I intended to finish.
Nevertheless, while I was shopping my friend called me and I informed him I was having an orgasm in Target to which he replied, “Ahhhhh, a Targasm.” His phone call prompted a trip to the beach section for a new cooler and a beach chair…….and…..
TARGASM DEAD…..BUZZ KILLED.
The entire beach section was replaced with a big cheery sign…..
BACK TO SCHOOL SUPPLIES
The walls were lined with a zillion backpacks in a zillion colors and styles. There were notebooks everywhere with crazy exciting patterns or with movie and T.V. themes. Pens! Pencils! Highlighters! Organizers! Colored pencils! You name it…..but, unlike the hopeful feeling I felt in the office section, I had an anxious creepy tingly feeling at the back of my neck and a deep revulsion in the pit of my stomach.
Having a kid with learning issues + school = battles, anxiety and stress!
Summer had always been a huge relief. It meant NO SCHOOL. The heaviness, the pressure gone. A respite. I and my two boys would pile into the car the day after the last day of school and head to the beach. All the way there, we shouted out the landmarks that brought us closer and closer to our little mecca. The minute we arrived, we would walk the long walk to the beach through the dunes, and there we would breathe in the expansiveness of the ocean.
Our reality changed…..for a short time, anyway.
Just wanted to say thanks for your humor and your work. 🙂
My pleasure Christie! All Ruth and I want is to make someone feel like they are not alone and we “get it!”
Then mission accomplished!
Yay!
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I am starting to feel the Back To School anxiety now. It’s been so nice just hanging out with my son. In 2 weeks the arguing, nagging, and resentments (on both sides) will start. I’ll have to be the mean mom who sticks to a strict schedule. I’ll have to start worrying about how far I am away from the school during the day in case I have to rush and pick him up. I’m glad I found this site so I can know I’m not alone and find the humor in it as well.
Oh, you are soooooooo not alone!!! And wow, your comment about worrying about how far you are away from school, for when (not if) that phone call comes and you have to rush over ….. that just brought back a rush of memories and more PTSD/anxiety! (And my son is 21!!!) There is humor in it, but usually only either in hindsight, or when you are hanging out with other people going through it. Glad you found us, so we can all support each other as we work to maintain our sanity, sense of humor and sense of self while raising all these amazing kids! (the “issues” ones, and their siblings, if there are any ….)
I have started to seriously wonder if my kid will make it through four years of HS. He starts year one next Monday and I am actually contemplating searching out plan B schools for kids with his issues. Has anyone had any kind of experience with their kid cracking under mainstream ed pressure and having to find an alternative? Added to the stress is that it’s a new school with all new staff. I don’t even have faith that he will be able to so much as get himself of the bus in the morning. My face is breaking out like crazy. Should I wonder why?
Think I needed to get that out. Thanks for listening.
I’m so sorry that you’re so stressed …. it is just an overwhelming feeling to be so worried about your kid, and the stresses they face, and whether they can handle it, and how we are going to handle it. Maybe if you have a Plan B researched, it can help you to just know that you do have an alternative. And maybe — just maybe — the new school and new staff will really “get it” …. can you arrange to meet with some of the staff there before school starts? I always did my best to do a pre-emptive strike. It did work better in elementary and middle school, mainly because of the smaller environment … but if you can get some good people on your side, it can help in the high school. Does he have an IEP? That does give you more power in terms of how things go in the classroom, although it doesn’t help socialization (which is equally, if not more, important). What really helped my son in high school was joining the Robotics Club and getting a really good group of friends in that. Another friend’s son joined the crew team, which is another great activity. If there’s anything he can get involved in like that, it will really help as well. And you need support, support, support …. sending you much love and positive vibes, and keep us informed! By the way, I can post this comment on our Walk A Mile In My Issues Facebook page (www.facebook.com/walkamileinmyissues) and just say “A reader on our blog writes …”, and you could always check on the page and see what people have commented there. Hang in there!!!
Hi……I love all of Ruth’s suggestions! They all will make you feel “in control.” Do things that make YOU feel GOOD too. It’s really important to have a sounding board whether it’s a good friend or a therapist….I chose both. I had a therapist who had already raised a kid with issues and really “GOT” what I was going through……and I had Ruth. I found that there were some friends that made me feel better and some who fed into my anxiety…..nice people, but I was better off with friends who were more positive.
ALSO! Take care of yourself and get out of the anxiety zone….try to see the forest from the trees! You’re doing great! Hang in there!
I probably do need therapy at this point, lol. I will start researching plan b’s, anything proactive will help.
He does have an IEP. I only found out last week who his HS case mgr. is. I have yet to meet her but will send a note first week of school to introduce myself. I do know who is aide is. She is the one constant from last year unless something changes at the last minute.
Feel free to put my post on fb. Maybe it will help someone else as well.
It’s funny but I have a close friend who also has an issues kid. She gets it yet talking to her makes me feel so much worse instead of better. I find that the judgement/competitve thing can exist among parents like us too and it flat out collides with being supportive.
Both of you make me feel better. Thank you for the support.
So glad! I like that his aide is the same! Fingers crossed it stays that way and if not…..who knows? Maybe some fabulous Mary Poppins of an aide is on the way.
I know what you mean about feeling worse after sharing with some friends…..I don’t think it’s intentional but some people just bring you down…..everybody has their own crap! Pay attention to how you feel around certain people….for me it’s practically a health choice!
Sometimes there’s a bit of “My issue’s bigger than your issue” from others …. when really all you need is to be validated and to be able to vent safely. I will post on Facebook, and let you know if anyone responds! Hang in there and BREATHE ….. and remember, as Martha always said ….. “One day, we will look back on this and laugh …. as we are recovering from our facelifts!” 🙂