School Refusal X Two = Feeling like a Failure….No, School’s Stupid….Wait….Let’s watch The Secret

I’ll admit it.  All our trials and tribulations led me to learn how to read tarot cards and look for signs in nature because I didn’t know what the f*ck else to do.  I felt utterly powerless so I tried to find greater meaning in everything. Oh!  There’s a red bird!  Jimmy WILL go to school today!  11:11!  Today is the day! But mostly he did not and to top it off my younger son took notes and decided that school sucked for him too and started refusing to go.  NIGHTMARE!

AAAAAAAAAAND everyday my husband would anxiously call to see if they made it to school and when I said “no” he would lecture me about WHY they needed to get to school.

Let’s hit me over the head with a baseball bat and state the obvious.  Duh.

Sooooooooo, occasionally to save my sanity I would lie.  I felt like I was sandwiched between my children’s anxiety and my husband’s anxiety.  I was a triple decker anxiety club sandwich with a pickle and a decorative tooth pick skewered through my middle….

But, that’s not all……enter the call of shame.  As you all know we have to call the school and inform them that “Jimmy” and now “Joey” are not coming to school because they are ummmmm…….well…..oh sick. NOT.

Their mother has simply completely lost control of her perfectly healthy boys and there is a full blown school refusal sit-in going on.

A tarot card that resonated with me……

swords10

Confession.  I was so desperate that I told my son that the only way he could stay home one day was if he watched THE SECRET. I guess I thought that if he started to think we can manifest our future it would give him hope and a sense of purpose….that or he would think that his mom was completely nuts.

Fast forward years of going through the morning motions, pretending that everything would turn out ok and everybody would make it to school…..cycling through fear, failure, anxiety, trying to see the forest from the trees and telling myself that maybe it is all happening for a reason…because both kids finally made it out the door…..

One just landed in Rome this morning.  The other is out in CA.  Two little boys who stuck to me like glue are now out in the world and really want to be anywhere BUT home…..

Hang in there, mom’s of kids with school refusal!  Tip.  I figured out when to call the school and leave a message so I didn’t have to actually talk to anybody…….just saying’…

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