You know that list of “Children’s Book Titles You’ll Never See?”
Well, here are some of our first thoughts on what we should call this blog:
“My Kid Did What?”
“Oh …. You’re Jimmy’s Mom ……………. “
“Why Jimmy Can Read, But Refuses To”
“Why Jimmy Can’t Spell … and Couldn’t Care Less”
“How to Deal with School Refusal — Wine, Xanax and … Oh wait, you meant the kids?”
“Homework is Two Four-Letter Words … and They Don’t Start with ‘H’ and ‘W’”
“Why Jimmy’s Teacher Takes a Lot of Vacations (and Why Jimmy’s Parents Can’t)”
“When You Grow Up, You’re Paying for my Face Lift and Hair Dye”
“I Just Keyed that ‘Mother of an Honor Roll Student’s’ Car! – Tales from the Dark Side of Parenting”
“If I Ever Tried Homeschooling, There Would Be Nothing Left But Claws and Fluff”
“‘Gee, I Never Thought of That’ – Responses to ‘Helpful’ Parenting-Kids-with-Issues Advice (from People Who Haven’t Been There) That You Have Already Tried a Million Times, But Thanks Anyway…”
“I’d Love To, But I Have to Pick Jimmy Up at the Police Station”
But then we thought of what message we are really trying to promote. And who we are trying to reach.
This website is for the mom who understands every one of these fake titles above, and who may be laughing through her tears.
Yes, it’s hard … harder than anyone else can imagine unless they’ve been through it. Yes, you want to pull your hair out. Yes, you see the future telescoping out in front of you like the hallway in Poltergeist, and you think it will never get better. And yes, you will feel judged, you will feel alone, you will feel like a crappy parent, and you may even feel hopeless.
Guess what, though – we have been through it and are here to report from the other side! We may need Botox and Clairol more than the rest of the general population … or at least a lot sooner … but our “kids with issues” are now young adults, and they are awesome. And we realize that we have been pretty awesome moms, too.
THAT is the message we want to get out to other women who may be weeping at their kitchen table, or hurting from comments, criticism and judgments by people who have absolutely no idea, or gathering up the courage to walk into a school meeting for the seemingly one-millionth time, like we were.
This is hard – but it’s worth it. We may not have gotten the message very often along the way, but we did a great job, and so did all the “Jimmy’s.” (As hard as it is for us, it is a hundred times harder for them.) And the result? Our kids, and those of the people we’ve interviewed (we are all “Jimmy’s mom!”), are fantastic, unique and amazing young adults … not despite their “issues”, but because of them. Not that there aren’t still a few bumps in the road …. but hey, that’s what keeps life interesting, right? ( * sigh * ) We all have challenges – and issues – to face.
But trust us – you’ll never get through it without three things that can be harder to find than a completed homework that needs to be turned in tomorrow morning: support, perspective, and a huge amount of humor. And that is exactly why we are writing this blog.
And by the way, this is not just for moms; it’s for dads, too …. and actually, we will be including many perspectives, including moms, dads, siblings, teachers, etc. … as well as some absolutely fantastic grown-up “Jimmy’s”.
So stay tuned, and join us as we walk a mile in these issues.
Martha and Ruth